Transcript #480 How to Achieve True Abundance in Relationships, and Create Self-Love with Danny Morel

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1. Find out what’s in store on this Myers Detox Podcast with Danny Morel, who joins the show to talk about everything you need to do in order to achieve true abundance in finances, relationships, and health. Danny goes over how to come home to yourself, so that you can find and attract the right partner, relationship, and career that you desire. He covers the number one skill you need to have a healthy relationship, how men can open up and communicate better, and the important balance of masculine and feminine in relationships. So many great tips on how to develop self-love and work on yourself, so that you can attract everything you want in life.
2. Find out how Danny became a couch helping people with personal and spiritual development and personal and spiritual unraveling.
3. Learn about the essential first steps you need to take in order to work on yourself.
4. Find out some of the things that are affecting men, and preventing them from having the relationships that they seek.
5. Learn about some of the top things men can do in order to open up and be able to communicate better in their relationships.
6. Find out how the gender roles in the masculine and feminine are affecting relationships today.
7. Learn about some of the best ways to develop self-love and and come back to yourself.
8. Learn about the two main energies people live in, and how they affect who we are.
9. Find out the best way to test if you are in the right relationship.
10. Learn about Danny’s event and where people can join his community.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Hello everyone. I’m Dr. Wendy Myers. Welcome to the Myers Detox Podcast. Today I have a great show. We have Danny Morel on the show, and he’s such an inspiration. I just love his energy and his messaging. And we’re going to be talking about how to come home to yourself, how to find and attract that partner, that relationship that you’ve been wanting, and what it entails. And so it’s such a good show today.

  So we’re going to be talking about essentially the number one skill you need to have a healthy relationship. We talk about why men really have a hard time with connection and communication and finding love, and we also talk about the balance of masculine and feminine and what’s really needed to create that balance of masculine and feminine. And we talk about why people have a hard time trusting in relationships and just so much more on the show today, so be sure to tune in.

  And I know you guys listening, you have a lot of trauma, they have a lot of negative stuck emotions that prevent them from really stepping into the life that they want from discovering self-love. And a lot of people really struggle with that. It’s a long journey to love yourself, and that’s required really to get into the relationship of your dreams and find your soulmate and your life partner. And so I created a program called the Emotional Detox Program that is focused on just discovering self-love and releasing trauma and totally research in science based on how to release trauma and release it permanently and fairly easily as well.

  It’s a really interesting course, I’m just so proud of this course. So I want you to take this masterclass where I talk about all these things, and you can check that out at emo-detox.com, E-M-0-detox.com.

  It’s a great masterclass. We’ll teach you a lot about where trauma resides in our body and how to release it, and also how trauma causes a lot of health issues, 65% of health issues in the research as well. So there are a lot of benefits to doing trauma work, and the end result is loving yourself. So yesterday, Danny Morel. So he is an entrepreneur turned life coach and spiritual guide, and he’s helped thousands achieve true abundance in their finances, relationships, and health through deep healing work and spiritual awakenings.

  Danny is known for hosting Awaken Your Highest Self, which is an event that takes place multiple times a year in Austin, Texas. And additionally, the Higher Self Podcast with a top spirituality podcast in the US. You can learn more about Danny and his work at dannymorel.com.

Danny, thank you so much for joining the show.

Danny Morel: I’m glad to be here.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Yeah, so why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got into life and relationship coaching?

Danny Morel: Yeah, it’s funny; as you were telling me, we’re going to talk about relationships. Never in my life did I think about, or did I think of myself as someone who would talk about, relationship coaching. And I really don’t offer relationship coaching. What I really work on is personal and spiritual development and personal and spiritual unraveling and healing. And I believe that when a human being goes on a journey of unraveling all of the limitations that they have set around their mind and their heart, the natural outcome of that is a life of abundance. And we cannot say that we live a life of abundance if we don’t have lived in and are part of an abundant relationship, an abundant relationship with a human being that we love, that we honor, that we cherish, that we respect.

But that also we can communicate with, and we can do so without any emotional triggers, we can do so without any expectations, we can do so not from the wounding of our past, but the present state that we are living in, which is a healed sound future, pardon me, present self versus what most people do is that they live from the wounding of the past and they bring that wounding into their current relationship hoping that someone else changes when in result, the one that needs to change and heal is ourselves.

Dr. Wendy Myers: You talk a lot about relationships. So you’re not a relationship coach, but you talk a lot about relationships in relation to yourself, and you have an amazing Instagram channel, which I follow and recommend everyone listen and follow as well. So that’s the crux if you want to have an amazing relationship and attract one into your life, you have to do a lot of work on yourself. So where does one begin to get rid of those ghosts from the past and not let that affect their current relationship?

Danny Morel: And first, I want to preface this by saying that I don’t ever speak about anything that I don’t know about or that I haven’t personally experienced in my own life. So I didn’t really start talking about relationships until I found my partner, the woman of my dreams. And I will tell you only what I have experienced. And it doesn’t mean that it’s the way that everybody has to do it, but I’ll say that this is what definitely worked for me, and it definitely is working for a lot of the people that we work with in our programs. So I would say first things first. It starts with something as simple as being able to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and being able to look yourself in the eye, in the mirror and being able, to be honest with yourself, with where you are in life, with the positive sides of you, with the negative sides of you, with the sides of you that you are maybe embarrassed about or afraid to look at, and the parts of you that you are really proud of.

And when you can be honest with yourself and look yourself in the mirror and understand who you are, all parts of you, then I think that’s the foundation of a successful relationship because essentially, the foundation of that is honesty, and it’s honesty with yourself first. And so I think that’s where everything began. And I say that because there was a time when I couldn’t do that. There was a time in my life where when I looked into the mirror, I was not happy with who I saw, I was not happy with who I was, and I was not happy with who I was with. And that was with me. And to be quite honest with you, I was scared. I was scared to go into the depths of my heart and soul because I was scared of what that would mean.

I was scared that parts of me would die, quite frankly. I was scared that all of these things in the external life that I had built up because of the wounding that I received when I was a little boy when I was perfectly, by the way, not given the love that I desired for my mother and my father, I built up all of these projections and created this massive life, this show. And the show had a big business, and it had nice cars, and it had custom-made suits, and it had a lot of alcohol, underneath it all was, it had a lot of need what it had, a lot of need for human beings to appreciate me, like me, praise me, applause me.

And it was all a facade. It was all a facade because I was deeply unhappy. And so when I started the journey of finding my soul mate and a partner, I started the journey of finding my soulmate, which is myself first. That’s what the journey was all about because I didn’t want to attract a partner from the wounds of my mind. That’s what most human beings do. Most human beings are insecure. Most human beings don’t like sitting with themselves. Most human beings don’t like being with themselves. Most human beings, if you were to ask them, couldn’t even sit in silence for five minutes with just themselves because it’s too scary for them. Their mind is constantly speaking, and they absolutely will not shut up. And as a result of their mind constantly speaking, they’re constantly looking, they’re looking at the television, they’re looking for a partner, they’re looking for the next thing to buy, they’re looking for the next thing to accomplish. They’re looking for the next thing to do.

And what they’re really doing is they’re avoiding the present moment. And I truly don’t believe you can ever find your soul’s mate until you learn to heal that discomfort in your life because if you find a partner from that energy, it’s the looking energy, and you’re going to find someone that is an energetic match to that energy. But when you can get into a space where you can be really comfortable and powerful with who you are, and you can be in your power, and you can sit in silence with yourself, all parts of yourself, then you no longer need outside of yourself. And when you no longer need outside of you, then you can attract your partner because now you’re not attracting a mind mate; you’re attracting a soulmate. And that’s the only individual that I believe can truly make you happy. Someone that is connected with you, not just intellectually, but intellectually, emotionally, and physically.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Yeah, I mean, I think so many people spend so much time and energy distracting themselves, whether it’s with addictions or constantly having to be around other people or having a million friends or workaholism or people engaging in promiscuous sex or just constantly distracting themselves because they’re not ready to look at themselves or so many people they’re hurting, they have self-hatred, self-loathing and things that they just part of themselves they don’t want to deal with or don’t know how to.

Danny Morel: Yeah, it’s so interesting you bring that up because I want to speak about it; I work with a lot of men. And men are struggling, and they’re struggling because their fathers abandoned them. They may not have abandoned them physically, but they’ve abandoned them emotionally, spiritually, and energetically. And so men are struggling to find who they are, and they’re lost. And they’re lost because there’s a deep wound within themselves and a gaping hole in their heart. And they try to fill that keeping hole in their heart with pornography, with success, with power. And quite frankly, I deal with a lot of men and work with a lot of men that the world would think have it all. They’ve got the cars, they’ve got the money, but deep inside, they don’t have anything because they’re lonely, they’re afraid.

And as such, I would recommend whenever somebody is looking to be in a relationship, when a man is looking to be in a relationship, if he truly wants to be happy in a relationship, if he doesn’t want to do what everybody else does, which is staying married for 20 or 30 years, but underneath it all, you’re not happy, you’re just doing it for the sake of doing it because the world or religion tells you that you need to do it, when a man truly wants to be happy, when a man truly wants to find his life’s partner, he’s got to find the one most important life’s partner that he’s been afraid to discover. And that’s himself. And so he’s got to have a period of celibacy. He’s got to have a period where he doesn’t need a woman, for example. He’s got to have a period where he’s able to find his strength, staying away from sex, staying away from alcohol, staying away from all of the things that he’s been building up in his life because he’s been afraid of his emotions.

And rightfully so, because men, as little boys, are taught at a very young age, don’t cry because if you cry, you’re a little bitch or whatever it is that your father told you. And all of those things are emotional wounds, and those are emotional wounds that men are not taught how to deal with. And when they finally do, you’re going to discover that there are a lot of wonderful, beautiful men out there who will provide financially, provide emotionally, provide spiritually, and who want to find love. They just don’t know that the love they’ve been seeking has been inside the entire time.

Dr. Wendy Myers: And I think a lot of men struggle because a lot of women get very frustrated with their men because they just don’t have as much skills or exposure to looking at their emotions and talking about their emotions and communicating. And it’s a skill set that a lot of women have much more depth and breadth and experience, and just talking to their girlfriends or just as a society, it’s just more socially acceptable. Can you talk a little bit about how men can open up more and learn and communicate more in their relationships or with women too?

Danny Morel: I would say, again, I can only speak for myself, but for the most part, a man is very visionary. Part of being masculine is to look outside, to decide what to plan. So in his nature, this is a man. In a woman’s nature, she’s here. A woman is more here down, and a man, the masculine, is more here up. And so I would say if a man wants to learn to connect more with his partner, the first thing he’s got to decide before he gets into a relationship with a partner, he’s got to decide what kind of relationship he wants. And he’s got to be not afraid to be crystal clear because any man who truly understands his true power knows you literally create whatever it is that you want in life. And so you can create the relationship of your dreams.

The same thing is if you are working in default in your life and you saw terrible relationships in your upbringing, you’re going to kind of mirror that and create that sort of relationship as well. So I would say the first thing that a man has to do is really get clear with and identify his standards for a relationship, both the type of man he wants to be in a relationship with and the type of woman that he wants to draw into a relationship. And then the second thing he’s got to do is, he’s got to be honest with himself. He’s got to be honest with himself and ask himself, what parts of my life are not in alignment with that guy that I want to become or that relationship that I want to have?

The third thing he has to do is he has to go on a healing journey. He’s got to go on a healing journey. He’s got to go on the journey that is very arduous and very difficult and very scary for most men, of no longer living from the energy of here, but living from the energy of here and here, both his masculine and his feminine. And that means that he is loving and kind and caring and protective, but also he provides, and he gives, and he leads, and he gives direction for his woman because that’s the only way that a woman is ever going to feel safe in a man’s presence. And that’s the way that a woman is only ever going to be able to tap into her true femininity because a woman’s true femininity, just like a man’s true masculinity, happens together. It’s found together; it’s found in that beautiful union, in that beautiful dance with a partner.

Dr. Wendy Myers: And I think there a lot of gender roles in the masculine and feminine are just getting very blurred these days where some men are feeling are more feminized, and there’s a lot of women out there that are really strong and they earn their own money and they’re very independent, and they can build up this defense mechanism almost. And it prevents them from having and attracting the relationships that they want. Can you talk about that?

Danny Morel: Yeah. I would say go back to watching a little boy and a little girl. Go back to watching a little boy and a little girl in a playground, hopefully when they’re two or three years old and hopefully when they’ve been around healthy mother-and-father relationships. And you’re going to start to see, and you’ll be able to clearly see the energy of a little boy and the energy of a little girl. And what starts to happen is that somewhere along the lines of life, we get wounded, and we go through these instances in life where we are let down by either our mother, our father, or both. And we don’t receive the attention that we crave and deserve. We don’t receive the love that we crave and deserve. We don’t receive the encouragement that we crave and deserve. And therefore, what starts to happen is little by little, when we don’t receive that as little boys or little girls, we start to act out on that in life, and we create a story in life.

And the story, if I’m a girl, for example, says you know what, I’m never going to be let down by a man again because my dad let me down. So since my dad let me down and I felt that pain of him walking away and leaving my mother on her own, no man will ever do that to me ever again. So I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to go out and be able to fend for myself and provide for myself, and I’m going to go build an empire. I hate to break it to you guys, but if you really ask a woman when she’s out of her mind and she’s into her heart, and she’s sitting down relaxing, I’ve never met one woman that honestly says I desire to build an empire from her heart, from her mind and her wounding, she does. From her heart, she wants to be cherished, she wants to be loved, she wants to care for she wants to be relaxed because a woman receives. That’s the woman’s energy; that’s the feminine energy.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with building that empire; it’s just what is the energy that you are building it from? Are you building it from the energy of desire? Because desire is low calibrating energy. When you desire something, it’s because something’s not inside of you. And that’s where I think people get messed up. And it’s the same thing with a man. Nowadays, a man is afraid. He’s afraid to lead. He’s afraid to tap into his power. He’s afraid to look into the depths of his heart and soul and be the provider that he is. And that is why we have all of these instances where men are becoming more and more feminine, and men are starting to back down to a woman and back down to life. And some of our most popular videos on Instagram, I wasn’t even planning on this, we would just be having a conversation like this, but I have a belief that a man should not, absolutely should not ever ask a woman to pay for half of dinner.

It’s just not what men do because what you do when you do that is you are essential without saying a single word, telling a woman, I cannot hold space for you; I definitely can’t provide for you. I can’t lead you. I can’t guide you because I have not in my own life found a way to lead and guide myself to the path of financial prosperity because any man that is prosperous in his financial life will never ask a woman to pay 50% of the bill; only a man that lives in the energy of scarcity, that lives in the energy of doubt, that lives in the energy of fear that is constantly wondering where he’s going to be able to pay his bills, only that man would ask a woman to pay for the bill because an abundant man doesn’t need that sort of support. An abundant man knows how to take care of it for himself, and not just for his woman, but for his children and his community. That’s what a real leader does.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Yeah, I love having conversations like this because I do think that people really need to step into the divine masculine and the divine feminine and really strive for that because I think a lot of the general roles are getting very mixed up and blurred. But I think it’s also, there just has to be a polarity there where you can have a female that’s more masculine and a man that’s more feminine, and it works great as well. There just has to be polarity there. But on the whole, what you’re talking about is the goal. And can you talk a little bit about how to develop self-love? Like how do you recommend people begin to come back to themselves, to come back home, and to love themselves? So it’s easier said than done, and it can take a really long time as well. Certainly, my journey of self-love has taken so long because you have to find the tools that really work for you. And what is your approach?

Danny Morel: The journey for me from living a life where I honestly had no idea what love even was and living a life where I was honestly afraid of it and I rejected it, quite frankly, to be able to finally say I love myself was a very deep and profound journey. It took me three years. So it’s not something that happens overnight. When we live in our minds, we want the answer, and we want the quick fix. This is a spiritual awakening. This is a healing that has to take place. This is an unraveling that must take place, an unraveling of all of the beautiful protective parts of you that you have placed over your heart, over your mind. Heck, all of the protective parts of you that exist in your body or your body are stressed because your body is holding on so tightly, and so stressed up.

It’s a journey of unraveling all of that, all of that because the more that you unravel, the more that you allow yourself, the more that you’re exposed, the more that you’re vulnerable. And people don’t want to feel that because they’re scared, they’re afraid to feel. They’re afraid to feel. And so, if you want to go on the journey of discovering self-love, what you really have to go on is the journey of discovering your feelings and reconnecting with your feelings. And most mainstream influencers or teachers, especially when it comes to men, they’ll tell you the opposite. They’ll tell you it’s all about your mind, well, yeah, you can become successful that way, but at what cost? When you become successful and you become an abundant human being through your sole power, it’s because you’re in alignment; you’re in alignment with both parts of yourself. You’re in alignment with your mind. It is focused and clear, and you’re in alignment with your heart. And it is open to receiving.

And I would say step number one is to just allow yourself slowly to unravel by being with yourself, by sitting with yourself in meditation, sitting with yourself for five to 10 minutes with your spine erect and your chin parallel to the ground, and taking a deep breath in and exhaling and really focusing all of your energy on that breath, all of your energy into silencing your mind and telling your mind “you are no longer in control.” It is okay. You can quiet, and you go deep into the depths of the darkness that you see, and the darker you get, the further, further deeper you go, you can literally, in the power of meditation, transcend and leave the physical world and go into the fourth and the fifth dimension. That’s how powerful we are as human beings.

And when you go there, what you discover is infinite love in nothingness. It’s like nothing and everything. And if you are a man or a woman, if you’re a human being, that is the goal. The goal is to be able to tap into that nothingness, to be able to tap into that point where life and death are literally; it’s like this beautiful energy of everything and nothing and love. And to be comfortable enough in that space. And that’s where little by little, the beautiful power and healing energy of the source comes down into our lives and starts to heal us. And that’s how it starts to happen. It’s just you quieting the TV, quieting the sports, quieting the need for sex with another human being, quieting the need for alcohol, quieting the need for all of the things that distract you and sitting in silence with yourself, and watching what comes up for you.

Dr. Wendy Myers: That’s essential, I mean, just tapping into love and creating love. And can you talk a little bit about that and our need to create that and live in that space versus fear that most people live in every day and even within their relationships?

Danny Morel: Well, I got this in a medicine journey once, and they told me very clearly, and it was a message that I had to share with others. And that is, there are only two energies we as human beings can live from: we can live in the energy of fear or the energy of love. And essentially, when we are living from the wounds of our past, we are living in the energy of fear because we’re in a constant state of defense. We’re in a constant state of trying to protect ourselves and guard ourselves against not feeling the pain that we felt in the past. When we’re living in the energy of love, we live in the energy of acceptance. We live in the energy of being in the now versus being in the future or in the past. And we’re very happy, grounded, and censored into the present moment.

And the reason why it is so important for human beings to live from the energy of love is that when you attract from that energy when you attract from your soul power, your soul has the ability to attract into your life, whatever it is that you want to be whole, happy, and complete. You no longer have to search for yourself, no longer have to ask yourself, no longer have to doubt; you just accept everything that is. And you see how the beautiful dance of life all orchestrated it all for you to be in this present beautiful moment. And therefore, you tap into the universe; you tap into everything.

It becomes difficult to explain, in human words, how it feels, but then taking it back to a relationship, when you can find that within yourself, then you’re able to experience that with another person. I would recommend to everybody, if you want to test the strength of the love in your relationship, lay side by side when you’re in bed with your face this far apart from each other, and look each other in the eyes and get ready because that’s going to tell you everything. Because most people can’t do that.

Most people can’t look each other in the eyes because most people can’t look at themselves in the eye. How can you look into the eyes of another human being? How could you look into the soul of another human being if you haven’t done that for yourself yet? And this is why so many partners are disconnected from each other. This is why so many people, when they’re having sex, have sex with their eyes closed. Why? Because they’re afraid of what they can see. They’re afraid of the mirror that the other person can present for them and for their own life. They’re afraid of the healing power in the act of sex. So to most human beings, sex is just an act. It’s just an action that doesn’t really mean anything. But when you are an awakened human being, when you’re an awakened man and woman, and you’re connected to yourself, and you’re connected to source, it’s powerful. It’s powerful.

So I gotta tell everybody, you want to test your relationship and don’t do this unless you’re ready for the truth, but lay side to side and look each other in the eye and watch what happens. Do you have to force it, or does it just come naturally? Or can you not even look the other person in the eye? And that’ll tell you the truth about your relationship right there.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Are there any other tests that you’re in the wrong relationship with? Because I think there are so many people that, as you said, get into relationships based on their wounds and based on their desires and things of that nature. What are some other signs you’re not in the right relationship?

Danny Morel: If you want to discover if you’re in the right relationship or not, it actually boils down to you asking yourself the following question. You have to ask yourself, is it so right that it can’t be wrong? Or is it so wrong that it can’t be right? And I normally don’t use funny little quotes like that, but it’s a quote that my mentor gave me. Dr. Meltzer told me this. He says, “Danny,” he says, “When you find the person that you are supposed to be with, it feels so right that it can’t be wrong. And when you are with someone that you’re not supposed to be with, it feels so wrong that it can’t be right.”

Now the problem is that most people are afraid to acknowledge and feel what they’re feeling– they bottle it down and they hide it until one day later, it blows up on them. If we could learn to just be a little bit more honest with each other and ask ourselves, what does this feel like to me? There are no tests that you really need to test a relationship. You already know the answer. The problem is we’re afraid of the answer.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Yeah. They don’t want to lose what they have. I think a lot of people stay in relationships. They just don’t want to be alone. Or they’re scared to find that person that they’re going to be really vulnerable to, that’s really going to call them out on their stuff and challenge them and hold that mirror up to them. And I think a lot of people want it, but they have a fear of being vulnerable to that person.

Danny Morel: For sure. Because that means, in essence, that person is a mirror. So what they’re really afraid of is the fear of being vulnerable to life and trusting life, and trusting the universe and trusting themselves. The person is just a mirror. It’s just a mirror.

Dr. Wendy Myers: And can you tell us a little bit more about your programs and how you work with people to help to transform their lives?

Danny Morel: Yeah. I’ve got a couple things going on. The first thing is I have an event called AWAKEN, that’s a live event that we put on. It’s a three-day transformational event where people who want to have an abundant life and want to tap into financial freedom but also attract and be in the relationship of their dreams and also heal their physical bodies. People who want to have it all come to that event. And we’ve got one coming up here in March that’ll be just shy of a thousand people at that one. And then we’ve got another one in June and July. And that’s the main event that we have right now. And then, I have an online community. People can just go to dannymorel.com/community. I think it’s something like $9 a month. And we’re always updating classes and courses and meditations to help them on their journey in life. So I would say that those are the two best places to start.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Okay. Fantastic. And I highly recommend everyone go and check that out and check out your Instagram channel. I’ve really learned a lot watching you, and I was watching the past few months, and I really wanted to have you on the show to share your knowledge with people because I really like your energy and how you present everything as well.

Danny Morel: Thank you for having me. I appreciate being here.

Dr. Wendy Myers: Yes. Well, everyone, thanks so much for joining us today on the Myers Detox podcast. I’m Dr. Wendy Myers, bringing you experts from around the world to help you upgrade your health and your life as well.